The snow killed my crocuses

Is it April or February? 

Spring in New York hasn't sprung, not for real. 

My flower bulbs have sprouted, but my radiators are still generating heat.

The boys are still wearing winter coats when they leave in the morning for school!

Yesterday felt like spring, but really it was mother nature spreading germs.

 That's what this back and forth, warm and cold really does.

Our children finally acclimate to one temperature, we get them healthy, and then BAM! 

Mother nature comes along and stomps on us all over again.

Why do I sound so pissed off? 

That's right.  It can only be one thing.  Vomit.

The stomach flu is the true arch rival of all mothers.  Once we think we have it under control...we've scrubbed, we've wiped every surface with bleach and lysol and our sweat trying to keep that damn virus at bay, it happens.

The next child pukes in your bed.

It's a vicious cycle.  Mothers are forced to function on little or no sleep.  Cleaning carpets and laundering sheets, bathing children and plucking chunks of puke from their hair until they can barely see straight.

After ten days of having your children HOME from school, you send them back.  Your home finally smells, well, maybe not clean- but at least it doesn't smell like ass anymore.  Only to wake up today to diarrhea. 

They went back to school for ONE freakin day!  How does this happen???

Do I need to go clean the toilets at school too?

Do you think that I wanted to keep my kids home for that extra 24 hours once they stopped retching?  Heck NO.  I was ready to kick them to the curb.  But I did the responsible thing, and waited.  Clearly other parents are NOT so kind, and send their germ infested brats to school so they can reinfect my children.

Have I mentioned that school vacation begins THIS weekend?  I will be blessed with another whole week at home with my children!

Chandler: "What does it look like I'm doing? I am cleaning!"

Ross: "Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff?"