Spring into fashion faux pas

This weekend will bring the official arrival of Spring!  I'm so ready for the warm weather, but with the rise in temperature comes the rise in hem lines.

As a mom, I always find spring and summer a difficult season to navigate.  I also find it a great time of year to gawk at others who absently stumble into their closets with blindfolds on!

Here's the thing about warm weather, less isn't always more on a mom.  There is A LOT of bending over and little hands pulling on your attire when you have children, therefore appropriate coverage is important at all times or folks will get a peep show- and Ladies, I don't travel with a pole.

So let's just put it all out there.  Or should I say, DON'T put it all out there!

Keep your muffin top covered up.  What exactly does that mean you ask???  Well, during the warm weather months, that means no low rise white jeans and no bikinis...

Ladies, in this case more clothes are better.  I'm not saying that you have to buy "Mom Jeans"- but at least purchase a shirt that hits your hips.  On that point, a lesson- your waist (your real, actual waist) is where your belly button is- not where your ass crack starts.

What is up with jeans today?  I see people bending over all the time, and all I want to say is, "hey there, TMI!"

Oh, and a one piece bathing suit for sure.  Unless you have time for the gym and great abs- but let's be honest- who does?  When I'm at the beach or the pool I'm busy digging in the sand or throwing my kids around in the water- the last thing I want is a fashion malfunction with my skimpy two piece suit.  Bikinis are reserved for laying out with my girlfriends when the kids are in camp (again, like that EVER happens, lol) otherwise I advise that you opt for a more mom-friendly option.

FYI, this goes for Dads too.  Skimpy bathing suits on men, ewww gross!  No banana hammocks!

And NO SOCKS WITH SANDLES.  This goes for men and women.  Please!

Finally, and I feel compelled to say this.  Tis the time of year to landscape.  If you have the body to rock a bikini, go to town.  If you are more conservative and you plan to stick with a one piece or tankini, more power to you.  Either way, I implore you to take care of business before rocking your sundress or swimsuit...shave your legs ladies, and whatever other areas may be exposed poolside.  It's just NOT right otherwise.

"A man will go to war, fight and die for his country.  But he won't get a bikini wax."  Rita Rudner